Eclectic Amateur

For those who aren’t following the players, The Episcopal Church has asked for a meeting with the Archbishop of Canterbury (to “dialogue”, I suppose) regarding the potential expulsion of TEC from the Anglican Communion.

+++Williams has indicated that he is on vacation through the rest of the summer. Sources say that he may actually be in America part of the time, but he is still unavailable to meet with the American bishops.

Dale Price has compiled a Top Ten list of things Rowan +++Williams would rather do than be whinged at by Americans:

The Top Ten Things Rowan Williams Would Rather Do Than Meet With TEC’s Hapless Bench During His Sabbatical

10. Use a fiberglass suppository.

9. Read Forcefielder’s Choice: The Very Best of Frank Griswold.

8. Audition for American Idol by singing “My Humps,” with Simon as the only judge.

7. Become The Official Archbishop of the Detroit Lions.

6. Attend a Yoko Ono concert.

5. Be interviewed by Don Imus.

4. Headbutt a wasp’s nest.

3. Slow-dance with Courtney Love.

2. Appear on Celebrity Jeopardy: NHL Trivia Edition.

And the number one thing Archbishop Williams would rather do than meet with TEC’s Paladins of Polity:

1. Three words: Live organ transplants.

Myself, I think every time he hears his secretary says “It’s the Americans on the phone again, Rowan, what shall I do?” he simply closes his eyes and thinks of … asparagus.

I’m busy, busy, dreadfully busy
You’ve no idea what I have to do.
Busy, busy, shockingly busy
Much, much too busy for you.

(separated at birth?)

I’ve always wanted one of these:

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Bishop Lord Zachary the Bibulous of Westessexchestershire Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Hat tip to Dale.

Answering machine message heard:

Hi, you’ve almost reached the Price’s. We’re either out enjoying a walk, or off on some nefarious mission for Opus Dei …

Now really, Dale. We all know that you’re actually busy saving the world from the Spirit of Vatican II.

Another friend sent me this: Fear of Girls.

My reaction: “Oh my. I think I know those guys…”

Her response: “Dude, if you didn’t have all those kids to keep you busy, you’d be those guys….”

Hmph.

Have I mentioned lately that I really love my kids?

I wish I’d thought of this:

Mr. T vs. Bishop Spong

A splendid example of “dialogue” with “fraternal correction” in the style of “muscular Christianity”.

For those of you who are offended at this, may I remind you that even Santa Claus loses his temper with heretics? That’s right, St. Nicholas, after hearing Arius speak at the Council of Nicea, responded by punching him in the nose.

St. Nicholas of Myra, pray for us!

An email exchange regarding the above (4/29/05) Day by Day strip:

Z: Funny, sad, or really really frightening?

M: They like to know where at least *one* of the other guy’s hands is.

This came to me in a fit of whimsey one Sunday morning: What would the favorite parts of the liturgy be for each resident of the Hundred-Acre Wood? (I suppose, being so English and all, we can reasonably assume that they are Anglican.)

Pooh: The Eucharist, of course — it involves eating.

Piglet, being a small and easily frightened animal, prefers the prayers, because they are very quiet.

Tigger likes the singing. He’s not allowed to bounce, but every now and then some of the songs are bouncy.

Owl’s favorite part is the sermon — best, of course, if it is long and uses big words like epistemological and eschatological.

Gopher likes looking at the beams and arches — and critiquing the architecture.

Eeyore’s favorite part is the Confession of Sin.

Rabbit loves the tea afterwards, because everything can be just so. (OK, so that’s not actually part of the liturgy. The ablutions, then — the cleaning of the vessels after Eucharist. Must be very tidy!)

And Kanga cuddles roo during Bible stories (reading of the Word).

And now for something completely different!

For my first try at a web poll, let’s go with an international relations question:

#light {
color: 000000;
background: #F0F0F0;
;
}
#dark {
font-family: arial,verdana;
font-size: 11px;
color: FFFFFF;
background: #000000;
color: #ffffff;;
}
#table {
font-family: arial,verdana;
font-size: 11px;
border: 1px;
border-color: #000000;
border-style: solid;
}
#but {
font-family: arial,verdana;
font-size: 11px;
}

John Forbes Kerry and Lurch.

You decide.

UPDATE: Thanks to Dawn Eden for the link and the kind words.

I didn’t think of it all by myself — I woke up to the alarm Thursday set to WJR to hear Paul W. Smith saying the fateful words:

“So, do you think Senator Clinton will be Lurch’s running mate?”

Since I couldn’t get the image out of my head, I decided to share it with everyone else, too.

(The answer is apparantly “no”.)